Fresh from another run at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, stand up comedian Hal Cruttenden (Live at the Apollo, The Royal Variety Performance) has been wowing audiences around the country on the first leg of his UK tour this Autumn. Now, due to phenomenal demand, the huge UK tour of Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can’t Take It has been extended until June 2026, with new dates added from Glasgow to Exmouth.
In his last show, Hal discussed the devastation of his divorce - after 20 years of marriage his wife left him for a firearms officer (that is, the complete opposite of Hal). Now, three years on, Hal is determined to stick it to The Man (as long as The Man doesn’t stick it back to him). Packed with hilarious pontificating on middle-aged dating, social media, the insanity of modern politics and the fragility of marriage, Hal talks about swapping supposed security and a silver anniversary, for dating apps and the unexpected shift of being offered life advice by your kids.
Hal may be alone but he’s not lonely. He’s found, much to his ex-wife’s surprise, that some women still find him attractive. He’s dating again and, although nearly 25 years have passed since he was last ‘on the scene’, he’s found he can be just as neurotic, immature, thoughtless, and naive - even if he does think his 50s might be turning out to be more fun than his 20s!
Hal’s previous tour was extended four times due to phenomenal demand and he’s one of a select number of comics to have appeared on Live at the Apollo three times and the Royal Variety Performance twice. His extensive TV credits also include Have I Got News for You, Would I Lie to You?, Mock the Week, The Apprentice: You’re Fired and Bake Off: An Extra Slice. He’s also written and starred in his own BBC Radio 4 sitcom, Hal and his stand-up specials: It’s Best You Hear It From Me, ‘Tough Luvvie, Chubster and Straight Outta Cruttenden are available on Amazon Prime.
This year Hal started the new podcast Hal and Ronni in Pieces alongside Ronni Ancona. Their series one guests include Sally Phillips, Jo Brand, Kiell Smith Bynoe and Omid Djalili. Hal also plays Winston Churchill in The Man With A Plan, a new film about William Beveridge starring Simon Callow.
2025 TOUR DATES
Wednesday 22nd October - Wrexham T ŷ Pawb Buy Tickets
Friday 24th October - Gloucester Guildhall Buy Tickets
Saturday 25th October - Worcester Worcester Huntingdon Hall Buy Tickets
Sunday 26th October - Nottingham Arts Theatre Buy Tickets
Friday 31st October - Hexham Queens Hall Arts Centre Buy Tickets
Saturday 1st November - Barnard Castle Witham Hall Buy Tickets
Sunday 2nd November - Newcastle Stand Buy Tickets
Saturday 8th November (3pm) - Chelmsford Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 8th November (8pm) - Chelmsford Theatre Buy Tickets
Friday 14th November - Basingstoke Haymarket Buy Tickets
Saturday 15th November - Hemel Hempstead Old Town Hall Buy Tickets
Sunday 16th November - Hemel Hempstead Old Town Hall Buy Tickets
Wednesday 19th November - Birmingham Glee Club Buy Tickets
Thursday 20th November - London Leicester Square Theatre Buy Tickets
Friday 21st November - Tunbridge Wells Trinity Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 22nd November - Milton Keynes Stables Buy Tickets
Friday 28th November - Leicester The Y Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 29th November - Cambridge Junction Buy Tickets
Sunday 30th November - Colchester Arts Centre Buy Tickets
NEW DATES ADDED FOR 2026:
Saturday 17th January - Luton Hat Factory - Buy Tickets
Saturday 24th January - Barton-Upon-Humber The Rope Walk Buy Tickets
Saturday 31st January - Bedford The Quarry Theatre Buy Tickets
Wednesday 4th February - Glasgow Stand Buy Tickets
Friday 6th February - Leek Foxlowe Arts Centre Buy Tickets
Friday 13th February - Dorking Hall Buy Tickets
Friday 20th February - Chester Storyhouse Buy Tickets
Saturday 21st February - Salford Lowry Buy Tickets
Saturday 28th February - Exmouth Pavillion Buy Tickets
Friday 13th March - Cardiff Sherman Theatre Studio Buy Tickets
Saturday 14th March - Southampton The Attic Buy Tickets
Friday 20th March - Peterborough Key Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 21st March - Canterbury Marlowe Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 28th March - Maidenhead Norden Farm Buy Tickets
Saturday 4th April - Deal The Astor Buy Tickets
Friday 10th April - Monmouth Savoy Buy Tickets
Saturday 11th April - Bath Rondo Buy Tickets
Saturday 18th April - Crawley The Hawth Buy Tickets
Wednesday 22nd April - Bury St Edmunds The Apex Buy Tickets
Friday 22nd May - Swindon Arts Centre Buy Tickets
Friday 12th June - York Pocklington Arts Centre Buy Tickets
Friday 19th June - Southend on Sea Palace Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 20th June - London Leicester Square Theatre Buy Tickets
Saturday 27th June - Diss The Corn Hall Buy Tickets
