Candace Bryan is an American standup comedian based in London. Her sharp writing and unique persona have seen her shortlisted for Chortle's Hotshots 2025, she's a Soho Theatre Comedy Plus Lab Alum, and in 2024 was endorsed by the UK Arts Council as showing “exceptional promise” as a comedy performer and awarded a Global Talent visa. She has won shows like Ding Dong Gong, is an undefeated, 8X winner at the Bill Murray’s Roast Battle UK, and has been featured on the international Roast Battle podcast. She was shortlisted for Funny Women Best Comedian 2023 and a 2Northdown New Act Semi-Finalist 2022.
Her new show MILF - Mom I’d Like To Find, describes how her single dad brought her up. Candace talks about her hedonistic lifestyle, her mommy issues, and how these things may or may not be related. Sharing anecdotes about growing up with a single dad in Memphis, her international dating hijinks, and the time someone very unexpected slid into her DMs, she pokes fun at traditional family values, life in late capitalism, and avoidant attachment style. “A keen studied intelligence…maximum laughs” (British Comedy Guide). “Well funny…immediate approachability” (The Mumble). Candace’s writing has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Vice, and the NY Observer.
Candace Bryan: MILF – Mom I’d Like To Find is at Just the Tonic Nucleus - Sub-Atomic Room, July 31st - August 24th (not 12th) @ 3.10pm, Tickets and info here.
What is the last thing you do before you go onstage (apart from check your flies and/or check your knickers aren't sticking out of your skirt and check for spinach between your teeth)
I take a selfie, then zoom in on it and give myself a little kiss.
What irritates you?
Forks! I have misophonia, which means certain sounds irritate me to an absurd degree. The way the tines of a fork sound when they scrape on a dish or someone’s teeth drives me crazy. That’s why at home I only eat with spoons and chopsticks. I wish I were joking.
What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?
I haven’t been to the dentist in 7 years. I’m blessed with genetically strong teeth, I don’t eat much sugar, and I floss at least once a day, so I’m probably fine, right? Right?! (Tell me I’m fine…)
What is the most stupid thing you have ever done?
I moved abroad during the height of a global pandemic to a country where I didn’t know a single person for a degree that ended up being mostly online! Luckily, I survived and I’m still here 5 years later.
What has surprised you the most during your career in comedy?
How few times I’ve been hit on after shows.
What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
The looming dread that eventually I’m going to have to start posting #content online. What I enjoy about live performance is the ephemerality and the control, and the idea of being perceived by strangers online is scary. But it’s the reality of these times that posting is an essential way to build your audience. There’s this amazing quote I read by this author Tim Kreider in the NY Times a few years ago I’ve been thinking about: “if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”
I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
4 days a week I think I’m an absolute legend. 3 days a week I think I’m a hack who should be barred from ever holding a microphone again. I actually think that’s a good place to be, though, because if I always thought I was awesome, what would motivate me to improve?
How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
Right now, I earn a lot of respect. Eventually I’d like to be a millionaire.
How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Luck is huge when you’re an artist working in late capitalism. There are brilliant artists who we’ll never know because the powers that be don’t think elevating their voice will lead to profits. I haven’t had a lucky “break,” but I’ve had a lot of lucky moments along the way.
Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into third category?
FORE! I’m 100% golfer. I don’t take anything in my life that seriously and I’d love to be rich.
Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
You. [wink]
Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
I keep my drawers tidy, because inside my head there is constant screaming chaos. If my physical surroundings are also chaotic, I will never get anything done.
Candace Bryan: MILF – Mom I’d Like To Find is at Just the Tonic Nucleus - Sub-Atomic Room, July 31st - August 24th (not 12th) @ 3.10pm, Tickets and info here.
Picture Credit: Jamie Henderson
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