News: Tributes Flood In For Ian Cognito: Page 2 of 2

News: Top Stories On Beyond The Joke In 2019

Barry Dodds on the famous seagull story: "It's far too long for but it involves Ian leaving a window open in a hotel in Tenerife after a night on the sauce and leaving a half eaten pizza on the table. I'm sure you can imagine the rest. "My rooms been facking trashed!!!"

Paul Savage: Just came off stage to hear this news. "Thoroughly gutted. An utter whirlwind of a man. We once ran a gig where he was so loved by the audience he did an extra 20 minutes and missed his last train. So I took him back to my parents' house, and he crashed on their sofa. But before that we polished off a bottle of gin and from conversation I wrote the "drinking solution" joke I open my set with. I know he had his problems with anger but he was always an utter gent to me. Will miss him."

Susan Murray: "You were one of the true mavericks of comedy. Utterly majestic on stage. Such a proper loss to our oddball community. Hope you find peace. Bet you're gutted you gave up drinking. I can imagine you kicking yourself now "Well that was a fucking waste of time".

Leo Kearse: "This is sad news to wake up to. First time I saw Cogs he walked on stage at Dan Willis gig in Melbourne about this time 5 years ago, hammered a nail into the wall, hung his hat on it and turned to the audience and bellowed "YOU KNOW TWO THINGS ABOUT ME. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK AND I'VE GOT A HAMMER". Terrifying on stage, a lovely guy off stage (so many acts get those two the wrong way round). His book is great too, he lived a life. The whole comedy community will be mourning him today, and wondering who books the Bicester gig. RIP Cogs."

Jed Salisbury: "Sad to hear about Ian Cognito passing. I gigged with him in Doncaster early on in my career and the promoter made me go on first despite me been under 10 gigs in & too scared to say no. He then shouted at the promoter for putting me in that position. Good guy.

Rob Halden: "Absolutely horrible news. Back in the day we used to pass around CD-ROMs of Ian’s act. It was blistering and dangerous and hilarious. I got to book him a few times over the years and it was glorious. Watching him hammer the nail into the wall of a venue so he could hang up his coat. Watching him snatch a phone out of a rude punter’s hands and stick it down his pants. Off stage he was a warm and lovely bloke. I was going through a rough time battling depression and Ian sat and gave me the kind of long conversation that makes you feel like someone actually understands you and things will probably be okay.

Adam Staunton: "Sad news about Ian Cognito, a really nice fella and a brilliant comedian who had time to talk to anyone regardless of where they were on the comedy pecking order. I remember the last gig I ever did with him in Chester, the audience was a 20-strong hen do in a 100 seater room above a nightclub, we were hoping it'd be pulled but at 8:45 they all tottered in pissed and singing Shania Twain so we were given the all clear to start, they loved the MC but barely tolerated me and the other acts, Cogs was on last, he was well known on the circuit for being intense and relentless with his material/delivery so I watched with baited breath as he took to the stage to see what they'd make of him... Died in his arse, loved the man, RIP mate."

Daniel Triscott: "Everyone's got an Ian Cognito story so, here's mine for what it's worth. Ian Cognito was on the bill for my 6th ever gig and I remember him saying he didn't do Edinburgh anymore cos its full of fucking kids. So I was really surprised to see him up there the next year after 15 years away from it. Obviously I went to the show and obviously it was exactly the gig you'd expect from Cogs whilst drinking from a 2 pint glass filled with Guinness. A mate of mine also asked me to get his autobiography as he wasn't up for the festival. So I waited after the show to by his book but it was 7 quid and only had a fiver on me. I explained this to Ian and he was like "fuck it, just give me five" which was pretty decent of him. Anyway, I felt bad for short changing him so on the last day I was up in Edinburgh I went to his venue about 30 minutes before the show, and managed to find him outside (with his 2 pint glass of Guinness.) I went up to him and said "excuse me Ian?" He goes "what?" Then I said "You probably don't remember this but, I bought your book after a show about a week or so ago and I only had a fiver on me but you let me have it anyway so, I've come back to give you the 2 quid that I owe you." And his eyes widened with pure surprise and as he took the 2 pound coin he says" you mate, have ALMOST restored my faith in humanity" These are the sort of memories one should cherish from doing comedy and I immensely thank Cogs for being such a great comedian and bloke too make that happen."

Jeremy O'Donnell: "Stunned and sadened to hear of Cog’s demise. I first saw him in Edinburgh. I’d scored some tickets to a poorly attended benefit gig in a big theatre. Everyone was struggling despite some big names being on. Then this bloke wandered on stage wearing black trousers and a white flouncy shirt. He proceded to simply blow the room apart. I’d never seen anything like it. It was incredible. During the night I told all my mates how brilliant he was then woke the next morning (actually probably the afternoon) to hear that Cog’s had spent the night in jail for chucking a chair through a shop window. When we ran the Big Night Out we did a month of special late night shows with Cogs closing everyone. Every show was different and amazing. I have an image burned in my mind of him standing on a chair in the third row (the first two rows had already moved to the back) ranting, raving, knuckle bleeding from punching a spotlight and everyone transfixed and laughing so hard. So many stories to tell. Cogs is gone, but his legend will live on."

Jon Wagstaffe: "Having this news confirmed a few minutes before performing has knocked me for six. Life is short, laugh till the end x “I tell you the problem with the modern comedian, Waggy, they go to bed early.”"

Stevie Gray: "Not only was he outrageously hilarious, I’ve never known anybody with as many myths / stories about him!! I remember once sharing a green room with him and Katherine Ryan (before fame) - he was headlining but started drinking and doing a fair amount of drugs beforehand. Halfway through his set, somebody heckled him with the punchline and he threw his pint glass into the audience!! It smashed into pieces, how nobody was injured I do not know....the gig was then delayed whilst the audience member who heckled was made to sweep up the glass!!...Coggs then continued and still stormed the gig?! I’ve never seen anything like it. RIP you very funny man."

Martin Mor: "He was an outrageously funny act, and offstage was a kind, beautiful, troubled man. He also owned a pint glass that held two pints. I don't think we'll see his like again."

Spiky Mike: "Loved seeing Ian Cogito at other people's clubs, but was never crazy enough to book him for mine, however did once book him for Download Festival and against my better judgement let him stay at my flat afterwards. Woke up next morning to find a full bottle of whisky emptied and 100s of peanuts scattered strewn all over the place. RIP you nutter."

Kevin Dewsbury: "A story I heard back in the day when I was managed by Bound & Gagged Comedy. Nigel used to have the gig at the Fox in Palmers Green. A certain comedian known for his sometimes outspoken, unorthodox approach to stand-up took his dog on stage on one particular occasion. The dog proceeded to do its business on the stage and either that night or by phone call the landlord found out (as he’d been busy running the pub round the front and not seen the gig) and confronted Andy Jobbins, demanding they ban Ian Stone from ever playing the venue again! Ian Stone didn’t play the venue for over a year, but Ian Cognito played there again several times, Ian Stone got booked again when the old landlord left for pastures new."

Abi Roberts: "The great Ian Cognito (Coggers) has departed this mortal coil. Terry knew him quite well and I’m very fortunate to have gigged and giggled with him on numerous occasions. I remember we even sang the blues together one Edinburgh. He was an iconoclast who broke every rule and then some. He was a huge talent and shall be missed greatly by the comedy community. Till we all meet again, have a beer or two for me boys. God speed."

Andy White: "One time I was gigging with Ian Cognito in Tenerife. He had done well the first night, and some of the local expats invited him to their bar the following day. That evening the other acts and I were in the restaurant waiting for him to join us. He staggers into the room, goes to the buffet and helps himself, slopping various foods onto his plate and tray. He picks us a decorative lemon from the seafood section, squeezes it over his food and throws the remaing pulp back into the prawns. He doesn't see us, so he sits on another table with a group of old. The chair he took was vacant because one of their number was at the buffet. For some reason they didn't consider this drunken loon to be an adequate substitute. Cogs is a bit miffed, as if this were some weird update of the Rosa Parkes incident. Eventually, a waiter comes over and Cogs moves to another table. At this point you may be wondering why the rest of us didn't intervene. For myself, I couldn't be arsed. The previous night I had tried to gently escort him back to our hotel after a late night at a bar. He rejected my offer of a steadying arm and then, in the full glare of a street lamp, watered the grass verge with a shining arc of piss. Also, once we had weaved our way back to the hotel, he glared at the night manager and growled, "Why do you hate us?" Anyway, the rest of us eat up our food like good little comics and we go our separate ways till pick up time. Fifteen minutes before, the rest of us are waiting in the lobby for Cogs. Will Mars decides to knock him up. No answer from the door. Cogs' room is on the ground floor with a balcony facing the swimming pool. Will Mars goes outside, climbs over the parapet and opens the French windows. Cogs is asleep, supine, with his shorts down and sprinkler exposed. Will nudges him. Cogs wakes up with a start, looks down at himself and shouts in Will's face, "Why have you got my knob out?" A few minutes later we are in the taxi with Cogs and his knob secured. He is barely coherent and we aren't sure he is going to do the gig. Whilst the rest of us are doing our thing in stage, Cogs is lying on a kitchen table like a hog about to be dressed. A hog with a stein full of lager resting on its belly. Eventually, it is time for Cogs to headline. He staggers on stage, sloshing lager from the stein all over it. He delivers a barnstorming performance and receives a standing ovation. I still don't understand how. A year or so later, I meet him at the Guildhall in Gloucester. He tells me he has been back since. "What can I do?" he says, "They love a drunk." Nope. They loved you because you were awesome. Just before I wrote this, I told my wife the news. "I remember when you took me to The Glee on my birthday and he was on. He spat on the L after mentioning Eddie izzard." And then she chuckled and said, "He ruined my birthday." RIP, you magnificent cunt."

Masai Graham: "Cogs - "If you keep drinking that beer you'll end up seriously injured." Audience member - " Why? Because Alcohol is bad for my health?" Cogs- "No! It's because that's my fucking pint you CUNT!" R.I.P Cogs, hands down one of the greatest comics I've ever seen live.x"

Sully O'Sullivan: "Shortly after arriving in the UK I was performing down in Plymouth at a gig Ian Cognito had closed the week before. The venue owner was extra careful to make sure I'd already checked into the hotel. It turned out after closing and encoring, Cogs took full advantage of the ensuing free bar, so much so that eventually he was asked to leave. Arriving at the hotel a short walk down the hill he discovered his key wouldn't open the front door, and no matter how much he yelled and banged no one was getting up to let him in. He eventually solved the problem by kicking the door open, but then drunk and exhausted he couldn't find his room and passed out in the hallway. He woke up in the morning only to discover he was in the wrong hotel. RIP Ian Cognito (1958-2019)"




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