6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
Not applicable.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Portsmouth
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
In response to your observation - thank you. In answer to the question - I really don’t know how to answer it.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
Not much. Bit more.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Crucial. Not yet. But it’s early days.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
Ha! Well, I don’t play golf. But on the other hand, the tortured artist lifestyle requires far too much dedication, in my opinion. You’ve got to really commit, you know? Whether it’s substance abuse, high-maintenance, low self-esteem, raging bitterness, narcissicism, sexual depravity….it’s hard work, 24/7. So, I would say I just get on with life. Its ups, its downs, its underlying sense of absurd futility and the need to distract yourself from the existential horror of it all with jokes, intoxicants and just plain good old terrified screaming. Especially when you’re trapped in that bunker halfway down the 11th.
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
Wile E Coyote. He feels our pain and helps us bear it.
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
The last thing I would want to do is jeopardise your relationship in any way. In point of fact, I am fully aware of your girlfriend’s favoured position on drawers and how they should be filled; on many occasions she has shown me the inside of hers, then examined the contents of mine, and compared them in very frank terms to your own. But for the sake of your relationship, I shall maintain utter discretion on this issue.
