The top jokes in Gold's annual Christmas Gold Crackers competition have been revealed.
Puns inspired by Donald Trump, Jeremy Corbyn and Stormzy all feature in this year's chart. And the winning joke neatly links Christmas to one of the political catchphrases of the year.
And the winner is: "Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldn't run a stable government."
The jokes were voted for by the public after entries were submitted via Twitter and a judging panel, headed by beyondthejoke editor Bruce Dessau, had drawn up a shortlist.
The full top 20 funniest festive jokes of 2017 are as follows:
1.Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldn't run a stable government
2.Why don't Southern Rail train guards share Advent Calendars? They want to open the doors themselves
3.What's the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year
4.Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South's annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change
5.Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying ‘moron’ to him
6.Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot
7.Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal or No Deal
8.Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet
9.What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? ‘Good game, good game’
10.Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas day? He wants to give peas a chance
11.Which supermarket did best in the Holy Land? Oh Lidl, crown of Bethlehem
12.Why did the Irishman put Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in his living room at Xmas? He wanted an artificial tree
13.Where does Jeremy Corbyn hang his Christmas stocking? On the far left
14.Why are there only 11 days of Christmas this year? Because the Three French Hens got stuck at border control
15.Why was Theresa May asked to play the donkey in this year's Nativity? They needed someone who was a little horse
16.How do you ruin Stormzy's Christmas? Criticise his wrapping
17.What's Donald Trump's favourite flavour Quality Street? Covfefe Cream
18.What keeps Spain from buying Christmas socks that match? Matalan separatists
19.The Queen's Christmas message has been cancelled this year as there's no more Monarch
20.What's the difference between David Davis and Santa Claus? Santa always delivers
This is the fifth year that TV channel Gold has challenged the public to come up with the best topical cracker joke. The competition was created to brighten up the festive season after it was revealed that nearly three quarters of Brits thought that traditional cracker jokes were in need of a makeover.
The author of the winning joke, Samuel Williams, receives £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own gag. The top six jokes are included in bespoke boxes of Christmas Gold crackers, which were presented to this year’s winners.
Bruce Dessau says: “In a world that seems to have turned upside down in recent years, there is something wonderfully reassuring about the fact that people have still retained their sense of humour and come up with some inspired gags for this year's Gold Christmas Crackers competition. The subjects of the jokes that were entered reflect the issues that concern the country today; from Brexit and Donald Trump to Southern Rail, people have still been able to find the funny side.”
Gerald Casey, channel director of Christmas Gold at UKTV, says:“The festive period brings about a lot of time for reflection on the year that’s gone by and with so many tumultuous events happening around the world in 2017, it’s good to see that the famous British wit is still sharp as ever.”
Christmas Gold is showing their festive TV favourites every night throughout December.
