Interview: Rarely Asked Questions – Chris McGlade: Page 2 of 2

6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

My parents aren't alive but my mum didn't like me swearing, my dad never gave me any praise whatsoever though I knew he loved it when people would tell him that they'd seen me and enjoyed me and my daughter, whilst I know she's proud of me, never mentions it ever.

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

The worst things about being a comedian for me, are the lack of work and job security. I don't give a flying fuck about dying on my arse on stage. I won't stay on stage if I'm not going down well and I won't stay there for the sake of the money. If people aren't laughing and enjoying it, I come off and refuse to take any money whatsoever, no matter how far I've travelled. Far better to leave with your self respect than drag things out, piss people off and make yourself look a cunt for the sake of money..

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

I hate myself. I have very low self esteem and I'm racked with self doubt through being brought up in a violent and volatile home and through being bullied at school because I was fat. Although, bizarrely, these were the things that sowed the seeds of my comedy. I tape every gig I do on C90 cassettes on an old tape recorder, but I struggle to even listen to them because of the low opinion I have of myself. The only time I do is when I've not had a gig for a while and need to refresh my memory on how certain routines go. 

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

Since I got back into comedy in 2010, after I had finished fighting the political campaign, I've struggled to make five grand a year. I'd obviously like to make more, at the moment, enough to help our lass pay the bills would be a start..

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

I'm a great believer in God and destiny. I think your destiny is set in stone, but your routes to that destiny are down to you, because we all have free will. For me, life is like going down a motorway. You start your journey and you're bombing along. You make right decisions and you stay on the motorway and on course with your date with destiny, but if you make wrong ones you come off the motorway and go onto A roads and slow yourself down. Keep making wrong decisions and you end up on B roads, country lanes and eventually dead ends. I've made both right and wrong decisions in my life and career. I've had lucky breaks that I've thought would be life and career changing, but haven't been. However, I've never lost my faith or belief in the fact that I believe I have a destiny no matter how many times I've left and got back onto the motorway, so I just keep going. 

11 Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

I'm definitely the tortured artist..

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

My favourite other person is Frank Sinatra. I have loved him all my life. When I was 16, I used to call his office in Hollywood trying to get to talk to him. So often did I call that his PA, Dorothy Uhlemann phoned our house one tea time and asked our mam to stop me because no one else could get through. They did pass on a letter from me to him though and I got a reply from him and a personally signed photo. I loved him just because it was him. The swagger, the attitude, the charisma, the heart, he had it all...

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

I don't use drawers whatsoever. I have all my clothes on clothes rails in our bedroom. I have a huge wardrobe. When I was a fat 18 and a half stone pie eater, I literally walked around in a pair of blue shorts, flip flops and grey terry towelling Boro T shirt. But when I started in Billy Elliot in the west end, I lost seven stone and bought clothes just because I could. I was like a clothes junkie. Everytime I got into a pair of 31' waist jeans, it was like I'd snorted a line of coke and I got a huge buzz. I've got mountains of designer clothes, Gucci, Armani, Dolce and Gabbana, Paul Smith which are all hung up. Fuck drawers. The only time I go into a drawer is in the kitchen for a knife, fork or spoon. Sorry Bruce! 
 

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