Interview: Rarely Asked Questions – Kai Humphries: Page 2 of 2

6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
My parents have got on board with it all so much so they run gigs with me. We have a family business called Punch-Drunk Comedy which runs events in South-East Northumberland, you will see them at every gig wearing staff T-shirts and they play a huge role in the administrative duties. They are more than supportive, they are involved. It's not unknown for comedians such as Tom Stade to stay in their spare room. 

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

Weekends are our 9-5 so whenever someone has a birthday or a wedding taking the weekend off to attend is like taking an entire week off a regular day-job unpaid. So that said you have to miss a lot of social occasions. One friend started giving me static for not coming to his birthday party on a Saturday and it turned out his birthday was actually on the Tuesday, if he celebrated on his actual birthday I'd have been all over it. Everyone funnels their celebrations into the weekend when we're busy entertaining other people who are doing just that.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I'm very comfortable in my skin and very confident in my ability, this doesn't mean I don't have insecurities it just means I've dealt with them. I've been wearing them as armour since way before Tyrion Lannister made it cool. The things I find funny I can't wait to share with other people, so when I appear happy and excited on stage this is the root of it, I'm sharing things with people that are going to make them laugh and to me there's nothing more exciting than that. 

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

When I proposed to my fiancé i was told the ring should cost three months salary, if I chose that month to be December she would be wearing a pretty mesmerising diamond, if I chose that month to be August she would owe me a few thousand. So it varies. Club gigs my going rate is around £200 per gig, private gigs are negotiable, it's enough to live a nice life and although I may not be "rich" I do feel rich in time, it's bought me freedom from the chains of the rat race. I'd like to earn enough to give my family the same freedom. 
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
When my friend Lee told me I was lucky and my knee jerk response was to say "I know right, I remember the days when I sat at home with my fingers crossed hoping something good would happen!" I do consider myself lucky but I also think you've got to roll the dice and take some risks for your luck to come into play. I've been in the right place at the right time on a few occasions but I've been in a lot of places at a lot of times. 

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

I'm certainly not the self harmer, I do feel like the minority being a golfer in this analogy though. As a comedian is sometimes feels *ahem* par for the course to be a tortured artist. It's amazing how much "woe is me" goes on in the funny industry. I'd be in the golfer category if I shovelled shit for a living.  

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

UFC's first two weight champion Conor McGregor, he's such an exceptional human being, he has mastered a craft and is exhibiting it with an incomparable confidence that would be so far into the realm of arrogance if it wasn't for his ability to back it up. I've been entertained by every aspect of his career, his charisma and humour in interviews, the way he dismantles his opponents psychologically with wit and the way he then dismantles them physically with martial arts. He's elite every facet and it's a joy to behold. Life is always better when Conor has a fight in the diary.

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

I don't have any drawers, I've been living on the road for almost two years and have my belongings strewn across the globe. If I did have drawers though I'd pack them neatly with the best intentions and within days there'd be stuff lovelessly shoved into them, they'd be overflowing and I would never find what I was looking for, I'd probably set aside half a day to tidy them up once every 6 months. Whoever between you and your girlfriend is the one like me, that's who I think is in the wrong. 
Kai Humphries: Punch-Drunk is at Gilded Balloon Teviot from Aug 2 - 28. Tickets here.


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