Interview: Rarely Asked Questions – Diane Spencer

Diane Spencer's last show was partly about how she ended up working with Nancy Dell'Olio. She is a bit smutty and very funny. Spencer that is, not Nancy Dell'Olio. Spencer recently got married so expect that to get a mention in her latest show Seamless. Read this honest interview to find out more and then go and buy a ticket.

Diane Spencer: Seamless is at the Gilded Balloon until August 29. Tickets here.

Picture by Steve Ullathorne.



1. What is the last thing you do before you go onstage (apart from check your flies and/or check your knickers aren't sticking out of your skirt and check for spinach between your teeth )?


Check my shoes are tied on tight, imagine my name in the largest lights possible, know that I'm a superstar and I'm going to make everyone laugh because I know what I'm doing.  Positive thoughts.  The shoes are in case it all goes tits up - I like to feel I can run for the car without tripping over my shoelace.

2. What irritates you?

Obnoxious cunts.  Sorry, I could try to amend that.  Self-entitled, overbearing, never-wrong cunts. 

3. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?

Snorkelling at Goat Island.  I'm scared of big fish with big teeth, and Goat Island is a fish reservation.  To other people this is a great experience, to me this was pure terror, and as a consequence I couldn't control my breathing, couldn't swim properly, and a man pulled me out of the sea onto a rock so I wouldn't drown.  Confronting your fears is a good thing when that doesn't include swallowing large amounts of seawater and trying to swim when you're paralysed with fear.

4. What is the most stupid thing you have ever done?

Try to climb over an iron railing - my foot slipped, and I caught the railings with my foot and hands, and stopped my falling body just as the spike pressed into the soft part of my neck in the middle of my jaw bone, right underneath my chin.  I held that pose for a minute, shaking, fully aware that if I loosened any of my muscles I was going to impale my chin on a rusty iron railing.  Like a spiked head on a castle battlement.  I was also completely alone, and I don't think I would have died... provided I missed my arteries.  

5. What has surprised you the most during your career in comedy?

The live comedy scene!  When you're not in it, and you're a punter you don't realise the scale of it, that there are so many clubs, so many comedians, and people always creating new and exciting things.  Discovering I'm not alone in my attitude.  When you're the one always making jokes at school, and you don't really feel like an office job is a real thing, you can end up feeling alone, but I really wasn't.  

Interview continues here.

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