Interview: Rarely Asked Questions – Tom Allen: Page 2 of 2

6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
 
I think they like it. They're not from performing backgrounds so it's all quite different to what they do. My children on the other hand they hate it and they are very embarrassed that their father is a stand up. It can get very awkward when I arrive to pick them up from school. Especially as they don't exist. 
 

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

Spending too much time on your own is a hazard of the job - you travel around the country to gigs, you stand onstage on your own and then you return to a hotel room on your own. It means that you end up having desperately protracted conversations with train ticket inspectors and old women who run sweet shops in Cardiff - just for a moment's human contact. Thinking-time can be great, but you have to learn how to best use it and how to discipline yourself to not become maudlin or lonely. Luckily the ticket inspector is always THRILLED to make conversation with me.

 

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking
these questions). What do you think of you?

Oh I think I'm wonderful. 

 

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I earn more than some but not enough to afford my own home so I live at home with my parents. I'd just like to earn enough to be able to afford a one bedroom flat with a balcony. Or better still - a garden! And really nice flooring. And maybe an arm chair. And a herb garden. And some Le Creuset. And dried herbs hanging from the ceiling. I think maybe a picket fence and some sort of hedge. And a view of Downtown Manhattan. And a butler! 

 

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had
lucky breaks?

Yes I think so personally. I've been very lucky to have such great friends who've been generous in encouraging me and offering their time and their support to me. In that respect I think I've been very lucky. However, I don't believe in luck in terms of work - everything comes from industry and believing that you can do it and then getting on with doing it. The work is all that matters - and nothing can stop you once you realise that. Sure, you might not get a specific job or gig you want at the moment but that doesn't have to stop you from carrying on writing, trying. And that's the thing that everyone at every level has in common - we all have to turn up and do the work. 

 

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories -
golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter
are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a
third category?

I wish I was a golfer, and not just for the trousers. So I guess I must be a self harmer? But that feels a bit extreme. I'm sure there must be golfing self harmers - especially with those spiked shoes. It'd play havoc with your ankles. I think I'm more productive if I try to just get on with life and try not to get too tied up in my thoughts. But inevitably I love the idea of being a tortured artist. Is there anything more fabulous! What a way to live! And what a way to die!!

 

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family
or friends or other comedians?

Probably the person who came up with the rule of walk on the left stand on the right of London Underground escalators. I don't understand why it's not copied everywhere - it allows space for different types to co exist. It's perfect. 

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not?

I wish they were tidier but I have so many jumpers! And my pants I wish I had time to fold them and arrange them beautifully but ain't nobody got time for that. Drawers are only for hiding things anyway.

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