Interview: Rarely Asked Questions – John Robertson: Page 2 of 2

6. What do your parents think of your job?

Mum’s my biggest fan and completely denies everything I’ve ever said about her, except this. 

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?


The other ones! We’re God’s best attempt at fusing narcissim with desperation. A room of comedians is a bunch of people who got up at noon frantically convincing each other they’re somehow more than parasites who flunked out of more reputable jobs, like prostitution and gun-running.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?


Thanks Bruce. I think I’m a bright boy who’ll be at his best when he’s sixty and all the residual cuteness has faded. 


9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?


I earn enough to keep a London flat provided we have a housemate, my wife has a job and we beg on the street. 


I’d like enough money to buy the street. 


10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?


I’ve had fantastic breaks – but luck seems to come out of doing stuff. Here we go: 

I met my mate Bob Slayer when he was naked and climbing over an audience of five in Edinburgh, back in 2010. In 2012, he gave me the first venue Dark Room played at Fringe. Then Brendon Burns wanted to see the new Batman, so took me to the movies, then watched my show. He loved it, so told his friends, Mark Watson told his friends, Stuart Goldsmith told his friends, DeAnne Smith told her friends, Abigoliah brought her family… I ended up making a web series for Hat Trick and making a career out of pretending to be videogame. We’re in talks with the BBC for a show. 

And all because I found Bob’s penis funny.


11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?


I don’t think you can be a “tortured artist” when you’ve got a comfortable couch and a PS4… but Jesus, I don’t play golf… call me a sadomasochist! I get by in the world… and all my torture is strictly recreational. 


12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?


I like folk singer Loudon Wainwright III, whose career includes swinging ditties, devastating songs about family life – and rhymes so eye-wincingly forced, my wife screams at our sound system when I put him on.


13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (I'm asking because I seem to be talmost he only person who keeps his drawers tidy)

I stuff everything into them once it’s become impossible to walk in my room.  Once all your crumpled shirts form a solid rectangle, I think that’s a kind of neatness? 



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