2023 marked the 10th anniversary of same sex marriage being legalised in England and Wales, and March 2024 is exactly a decade since the first wedding took place. To celebrate this momentous occasion, comedian, presenter and writer Tom Allen is pulling out all the stops to arrange a dream wedding for one gay couple.

Adam and Dan are getting married, and Tom wants to get his full fairy godmother on to make it a wedding to remember. He enlists the help of celebrity friends including dancer Oti Mabuse, stylist Nick Hems, baker John Whaite and iconic Murder on the Dancefloor songstress Sophie Ellis-Bextor, who assist with everything from the entertainment to the outfits.

As Tom helps the lucky couple arrange the wedding of the year, he reveals the extraordinary story of the fight for equal marriage, meeting the LGBTQ+ trailblazers who helped make this day possible including Sandi Toksvig, Peter Tatchell, Lynn Sutcliffe and Sarah Hews. He also meets some of the political figures who were instrumental in the passing of the bill, including Dame Angela Eagle, Lynne Featherstone, and Lord David Cameron.

In the one-off film for BBC One and iPlayer, Tom will reflect on his own experiences of growing up gay as he considers how far LGBTQ+ rights have advanced. It will culminate in the wedding of the happy couple, in a joyous celebration of love, community and hard-won equality.

Tom Allen says: "When I was growing up, the idea that gay people could be accepted by society, never mind get married was as mad as a sack of chihuahuas. Now every year, thousands same sex couples get married, and that’s certainly something to celebrate. Now two people can say they love each other in front of their friends and families and have it recognised by all of us in society, and that’s a wonderful thing.”

Interview with Tom Allen

Why did you want to throw one lucky couple the wedding of their dreams?

Well firstly, I really enjoy telling people what to do. Any kind of high ceremony is very much my bag. I also thought it would be a great way to understand, first hand, the importance of what marriage actually is. Yes, weddings are ceremonies, heavy in symbolism and tradition, but they genuinely matter to people because they mean that a couple is recognised in law and that society deems them important. There have been times where, as a gay man, I have wondered, 'Well why do we need to be equal like this, when we can be... better?' but with something like marriage, it's a ritual that dates back thousands of years and so in being allowed to take part in it in the eyes of society and in the eyes of the law means more than just 'a wedding'. It's a much more profound symbol - a statement that we as gay people, are actually equal to others, worthy of relationships and deserving of the same rights as everyone else.

In partaking in marriage we are part of the rest of the world and the history of humankind. Maybe that seems like a grand statement but for so much of history, queer people have been made to feel less than everyone else or outside of society. I think it has had a huge impact on mental health, self-esteem and our sense of self. So bringing same sex marriage into law has been hugely important.

Why was it important to also meet the trailblazers and people who paved the way to same sex marriage?

I’ve always loved learning about the past, no matter how recent it might be - after all, a society which doesn’t learn its history is condemned to repeat it. I think talking to the people who helped bring about this change was a way to publicly acknowledge what they’d done. With the activists, they often suffered a huge amount of prejudice and resistance. I’ve never been a fan of trite sayings and phrases like, ‘Love is Love’ or, ‘Love Wins’ because I think it's much more important to see how history is seldom a straight line but instead fraught with steps forward and steps back all at the same time. Meeting the people who paved the way allowed me to see how difficult it had been. Complex matters require complex solutions if the long term goal is to be achieved and I think in our world today, we need to remember this now more than ever.

What moved me the most was how the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013, which made the marriage of same sex couples lawful in England and Wales, brought people together from different sides of the political divide. Despite the opposition from various corners, MPs and activists found a pragmatic way to come together to achieve their aim. In these polarised times, it felt very hopeful. So maybe the saying is right actually - love does win.

What do you hope audiences take away from this documentary?

I hope it's a sense of hope about what can be achieved when people work together. I hope it's an understanding of how difficult it has been, and continues to be, for queer people to exist in the world. Beyond that, I also hope it's a sense of gratitude for how far we have come, and to not take that for granted.

How have things changed in the last ten years, and how have they not?

It was upsetting to see footage of the parliamentary debates at the time and to see how open people were about their disdain for equality for same sex couples - I think, happily, I'd put it out of my mind how humiliating it was to have other people opine about what they thought we, as gay people, were entitled to. It was truly amazing to see how far things have come. However, I don't for a moment ignore how same sex relations and just being queer at all continue to be illegal for many around the world. For them, the idea of gay marriage might feel very far removed indeed. So as a world I hope we can continue to work together to achieve equality for all.

Wednesday, March 27, 9pm, BBC One.

Main picture: BBC/Minnow Films/Adam Hobbs