Tom Allen is one of the most popular stand-up comedians in the UK. He is famed for his riotously funny storytelling, which is as smart as his exquisitely tailored suits. The dapper 39-year-old is the host of The Apprentice: You’re Fired and also a regular on Bake Off: An Extra Slice. He has hosted the National Comedy Awards on C4 twice and has written two best-selling memoirs, No Shame and Too Much.

 

He is currently combining a busy screen schedule with his first national tour since 2018, entitled Completely. In this new interview Allen talks about the recent changes in his life, from finally leaving home in his late thirties to the stresses of buying furniture and the joys of having a quiet sit down.

 

Tom Allen is currently on tour. Full dates and ticket details here.

 

Tell us about your new show, ‘Completely’

 

I got to a point when I was still living with my parents. And then I thought, actually, I've got to be a grown up. And so I finally moved out at the tender age of 38. The title is about finally being completely grown up. With stand up shows I like to keep the names quite loose, because I think fundamentally it's always going to be about experiences that everybody can share, like being a grown up living in my own place and being in a relationship.

 

Your life has changed in all sorts of ways since your last tour?

 

Yes, that was in 2018. I was due to start working on this at the end of 2019. And then I was I doing Bake Off: An Extra Slice and then there was Covid. We keep adding dates, so when people ask me why I'm not coming to their town we are usually aiming to get there, it's just a case of fitting it in.

 

If you'd done this show in 2019, it would have been, no pun intended, completely different.

 

Absolutely. I think that the pandemic really changed us in ways we don't even realise. I talk onstage about our relationship with technology and how distant we've become after staring at each other on Zoom calls. I find when I’m in online meetings I don't look at the other people, I just look at myself in the corner. To be honest I could just do them with a landline and a mirror in front of me and it would be exactly the same.

 

What else do you talk about?

 

Getting used to having my own home, how stressful it is buying a mattress. Also, you know, being an adult means that your friends are adults and that sometimes means their children coming around and wanting to chip the paint off the wall. I lost my dad a couple of years ago, so I talk about that too. I think it's important to talk about all of life and not be afraid of it. That's the great thing about stand up. If you can laugh at whatever life throws at you, we can laugh together.

 

Hopefully, it gives other people strength if they are able to laugh at the stresses of everyday life and also the loss of a loved one. There is humour everywhere. When my dad died we got lots of death certificates for different things and we've got loads left over. I wondered if I should frame one and put it on the wall like a Cycling Proficiency Test certificate. 

 

Your new home isn't far from where you grew up in Bromley, South London...

 

About three minutes by car. I live on the road where I went to school. It brings back all sorts of memories. I'm still quite frightened of the teenagers. When I was a child a lot of my education was based on fear, endless assemblies about why you mustn’t go near the railway line, that sort of thing.

 

Your recent performance hosting The National Comedy Awards, fronting a two-hour live show where anything could happen, was very impressive.

 

Thank you. I guess that's where doing comedy in clubs was useful. With stand up anything can happen and you have to learn to be able to control it. My ear piece stopped working during the broadcast and I had to manage without it which was very stressful. Doing comedy in clubs taught me don't overthink things and just go with the moment.

 

You had a long apprenticeship before becoming a household name, gigging for nearly twenty years. What changed?

 

My management [Tom is with the company that manages Michael McIntyre, Romesh Ranganathan and other comedy stars]. I never thought they would be interested in me, but they approached me and I was so honoured. They've enabled me to do the things I've always dreamed of doing like the Comedy Awards. I just want to work hard and do a good job. My dad was a coach driver and he would say things like 'it's called work, it's not call fun, you should be working hard'.

 

What sparked your desire to be a comedian?

 

When I was a small kid I just wanted to make my mum laugh. I realised that I was different and embraced it. I was a funny, eccentric child.

 

Did you always dress smartly onstage or did you ever go on in jeans and a T-shirt?

 

I always dressed smart. It's very fashionable now of course - I like to think it's almost like I started that trend. I went through a phase where I wore coloured trousers and things like that and then I added a pocket square. Now everybody's wearing pocket squares. Just look on the news. You can't move for pocket squares...

 

How has your comedy changed since you started?

 

When I started the stand up scene was quite abrasive and you were expected to be able to dominate the room. I really had to learn how to be me. My dad said be tougher onstage, but I made a decision that if I do that, I'm not being true to myself. I had to learn to find a way to be strong in my insecurities and not be afraid to be who I am.

 

What would you say the difference is between Tom Allen onstage and off duty?

 

Not very much. Out and about I talk to people all the time and I have the same voice. Sometimes their faces drop a bit after a while, as if they think they are never going to get rid of me. My parents said I've always had a different voice to the rest of my family since I could first talk. I just came out sounding posh. I don't know where it came from and my parents would joke 'we don't know where we got him from..must’ve been a mix up at the hospital’.

 

How do you relax on those rare nights off?

 

My partner and I just like a quiet evening in, just making something to eat and then watching something like Miss Marple – (obviously the Joan Hickson ones!) I'm 40 in June and for my birthday I think I might get a tattoo that says something like 'Let’s all sit down quietly'. I think the world would be a better place if more people just sat down and shut up.

 

 

Tom Allen is currently on tour. Full dates and ticket details here.