TV Review: The Windsors, C4

The Windsors is such an obvious idea you can't believe it hasn’t been done before. It has of course, but in rubber. Spitting Image portrayed the royal family as a cartoonish bunch over two decades ago. The difference here is that real actors play the roles and the whole thing has more of a narrative. 

The script is by Bert Tyler-Moore and George Jeffrie, who did a similar sort of celebrity satire with Star Stories. Here the plot pretty much writes itself. Camilla (Haydn Gwynne) is a scheming Lady Macbeth, Charles (Harry Enfield) is a doddery king-in-waiting, Harry (Richard Goulding) is such a Sloaney fool he can’t read or write.

In the first episode we find William and Kate trying to lead a normal life. Nice-but-dim Wills (Hugh Skinner) is working in a greasy spoon while Kate (Louise Ford) doesn’t really have much to do except look earnest and caring. 

The episode is pretty much stolen by Morgana Robinson as Pippa and her “amazing arse”. In a scene that feels it has been written just to wind up the Mail she is having a fling with Harry, who screams “incoming!” during sex. Special mention should go to Ellie White and Celeste Dring as Beatrice and Eugenie, who specialise in doing nothing except eat out and run up large bills.

Some of the characters are lookalikes, some aren’t. Some have recognisable traits, some don’t. Edward (played by Matthew Cottle, who I’ve hardly seen since Game On years ago) is portrayed as having a drink problem which seems well wide of the mark. The Queen and the royal babies don’t appear, which makes one wonder if the writers have pulled their punches a bit. 

But even if the tone is on the uneven side there are plenty of laughs here. The Windsors isn’t going to win any awards for subtlety and the writers certainly aren’t going to win any knighthoods, but if you like seeing royal poshos royally sent up this should put a smile on your stinky republican face. 

The Windsors, Fridays, C4, 10pm.

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