Restaurant reviews tend to be accompanied by exquisitely framed photographs of grub, so gracefully shot that the food might as well as be an exhibit in an art gallery. We do things differently at beyond the joke. A bit more punk rock if you like. The picture on this page comes from a recent meal at Sharkbait & Swim in Deptford and was taken during a brief pause between mashing up the food on our plates (well me, on my plate, my partner is way more refined) and filling our faces.
Deptford is quite close to where I live but I haven't been to this bit of the high street for years. Not in fact, since I had a brilliant bespoke suit made nearby by Sydney Charles tailors, which is no longer there. That was way back (so long ago even the tailor I went to after this one, George Dyer, has now passed away too) and I can still get into it. Though not for much longer if this food reviewing lark keeps up.
I went back because Jay Rayner gave a glowing review to Sharkbait & Swim in the Observer here. Needless to say he was right. Not just about the quality of the food, but about how much Deptford has changed. The area around the station used to be frankly scuzzy. Now it's all al fresco tables and tiny little vans serving iced coffee and a glass-fronted modernist addition to the station that makes it look like a mini-St Pancras.
So with the sun shining and a table outside we were already onto a winner before we were served. It took a while to be served, maybe because Jay Rayner's fan club had all decided to pop along on the same day. But it was worth the wait.
We skipped the oysters and went straight for the sharing plates. As you can see from the picture we had all of our dishes in one tapas style wodge. Sichuan spiced tender stem broccolli (£7.50) came cooked to perfection on the barbeque. The sauce had the colour and texture of hummous, but apart from a garlicky-tinge it tasted of something else entirely. Schrodinger's hummous. I asked the waiter what it was and was told it was a secret. Well, whatever it was I loved it.
The barbequed mackerel on skewers with three cornered leeks and spiced tomato butter (£12.50) was also accompanied by a sumptuous sauce. The portion could've been larger, but then that's just another way of saying it was so tasty I wanted to be greedy.
I'm supposed to be eating healthy food at the moment but how could I resist the ox cheeks and miso croquettes with jalapeno jam (£9), which came looking like bulbous Scotch eggs but tasted out of this world, somehow creamy and savoury at the same time. Reader, I did share them with my companion. Just a little anyway. Balls to die for, but hopefully not literally.
My companion didn't go short though. I'm not a monster. She devoured most of the panko-fried cauliflower and tamarind caramel (£9.50). I had a little chunk though. OK, a few chunks. It was hard to resist. Just don't tell my doctor.
Total bill: £63.23 (inc two wines and one beer)
Sharkbait & Swim, Arch 11, 4 Deptford Market Yard, London SE8 4BX. Website here.
Pictures ©brucedessau
